30 Thoughts I Have While Grocery Shopping at the Commissary


  1. Hmm. Let’s see if I can find a good parking spot. Why isn’t my husband an O-6?????

2. Will they know my husband isn’t an O-6 if I park here anyway?
3. Do you get a special parking sticker when you make O-6?
4. How can I park closest to the entrance, exit, and cart return stall?
5. Where is my ID?
6. Did I remember the reusable grocery bags?
7. Does the ID card check lady notice the anxiety I feel when I can’t get to my ID quickly enough and panic that it’s stuck forever in my wallet?
8. Is the guy behind me wondering why I’m sweating so much just from trying to get my baby into a grocery cart seat? (Because she always locks her knees and refuses to sit in the damn seat and it’s hot in Hawaii!)
9. Which veggies will go bad slowest in my fridge?
10. Will my husband be home tonight for dinner or will I just have couscous by myself?
11. I should offer to shake the hand of the Vietnam Vet passing me. But my baby just sneezed her formula all over me and he’s down the other aisle by the time I find the wipes in my bag.
12. Oooh! They have the coffee creamer my husband loves. Better get three or four of them!
13. My baby is crying—employ distraction tactics and shop faster!
14. Why don’t they make the labels easier for mommies of crying babies to read? Better throw everything in the cart, sodium levels be damned
15. Do I want deli sushi for lunch or the kalua pork? Screw it! Sushi because I could eat that with my fingers as I drive home with my crying baby!
16. Let’s get in the long candy cookie aisle lane to find a checkout line to join.
17. Oh wait, that guy behind me is in uniform, he should skip ahead of us.
18. I wonder if I could call my Sir to see if he can get me out of here faster.
19. Probably not. He’s got an important job. But it’s a nice dream.
20. An important job that hasn’t made him an O-6 yet. Stupid labeled parking spots…
21. Is it wrong of me to covet those labeled spots so much?
22. Oh crap! Do I have cash for a tip for the baggers?!
23. Whew! I do have cash!
24. They’re smiling at my baby, thank goodness!
25. Oh no! She pooped! I wonder if the bagger would mind if I asked her to wait on loading the grocery bags in my trunk so I can change the poppy diaper first?
26. Am I being judged for changing her in the trunk? I put a towel down!
27. Screw any judgments! I’m doin what my daughter needs!
28. #SuperMom
29. Omg I need a nap now. Grocery shopping is so stressful!
30. Crap! I forgot half the things on my list! Will they notice tomorrow that I was here today???


Photo Credit: Shopping With Baby, used via Creative Commons License Flickr

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